thesteamhunk:

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One or two years ago I got a spam email with these two sentences in them and they’ve been a part of my vocabulary ever since

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muppethole:

muppethole:

tumblr is less a social media site and more language’s final frontier

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to boldly go

kragehund-est:

i cant help but notice that the chocolate chips cookies you brought to the potluck yesterday had bad vibes. so i went through your cabinets while you were sleeping and checked out the chocolate chips you used. i mean they looked innocent on the surface, they were even fair trade certified. but i just couldn’t shake that itching sense that sometning was off. i infiltrated the chocolate company’s headquarters by posing as IT support. and you know what I found? the guy who designed the labels got a dui in 2007. so it turns out my instincts were right and you’re a terrible person.

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biglawbear:

lordknightmon:

I hate gay republicans so much like republicans in general I’m not the biggest fan of but gay republicans in particular are just so obnoxious they’re like “I’m gay…. AND a republican 😏 bet you never saw that coming 😏 I bet you’ve never seen a gay republican before I bet you never even thought that was possible” like what do they want people to say? Do you want them to call you a brave special little boy?

Their fathers still won’t love them

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b0nkcreat:

karmiccollector:

b0nkcreat:

what the fuck is going on this year. january through june didnt happen. july is a distant memory. august and september were the longest months of my life. october ended in 5 seconds. why is november here already this isn’t right

It’s the season erosion from the climate crisis, combined with a hyperindividualistic and stress-bound society. It warps your sense of time.

awesome. how do i stop all that though

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almost-correct-quotes:

fiftyshadesofgay:

POLL TIME BABY

How heavy of a sleeper are you?

Very Light: bags, paper, or curtains flapping wakes me up.

Kinda Light: doors squeaking, normal foot steps, or rain wakes me up.

Average: knocks, phone calls, clock or car alarms wake me up.

Kinda Heavy: I sleep through 2+ alarms, and multiple phone calls.

Very Heavy: I sleep through fire alarms, sirens, and a nuclear attack.

Tell me in the tags if you’d like!

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cemeterything:

cemeterything:

i really enjoy watching unfinished amvs where some of the frames are exposed to show the guidelines and rough sketches beneath the intended final product. it’s like getting to look at a building during its construction and filling in the gaps with your own imagination.

Tag from millialani which says "#that's its GUTS".ALT

it’s guts

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I’m so jealous of the friendships that boys have with each other. It looks so carefree and stupid I want that so badly

catwheezie:

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Happy black cat day!!

Here are some black cats I’ve drawn through the years

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fairycosmos:

capitalism will never steal the passion i have for doing fuck all from me

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whydoineedafuckinname:

whyamionlyabletouse32characters:

💉 blood-showers Follow

okay. but has anyone ever tried drinking their own blood? like from when they were alive?

🍷 nvrdrnk-wine Follow

how the fuck are they gonna do that? go back in fucking time?

💉 blood-showers Follow

no no like. before they turn they donate blood or something and have it stored in a blood bank, and then after they turn they break in and try it

let-me-in-let-me-in Follow

thats disgusting

🩸 fightmeorbiteme Follow

Friendly Reminder that taking blood from a blood bank is actually worse for humanity than feeding off humans directly.

💉 blood-showers Follow

can we not bring up blood bank ethics for five fucking minutes we’re talking about drinking your own human blood right now

🕷️ renfields-spider-collection Follow

wouldn’t it turn into dead mans blood? cuz you die when u turn? it’d fucking poison you

🧛‍♀️ fromthekarnsteintomb Follow

no but it was drawn before you died

human-guy-steve-deactivated2020

oh my god. my friends gonna sire me in a few weeks. i should fucking try it

🦇 sleepalldaypartyallnight Follow

@human-guy-steve its been 3 months is there an update????

💀 hung3r Follow

he’s been fucking destroyed…

🌙 thecollinscurse Follow

Well. There’s your answer.

🧛‍♂️ vampire-guy-steve Follow

still here! just remade lol

anyway.

that was fucking disgusting

Can we please make it so mental health treatment is accessible and affordable for the general public

the-real-skeletor:

yeahiwasintheshit:

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FINGERS IN HIS ASS SUNDAY

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sabertoothwalrus:

birbologist:

my wife, upon learning that pubes can be straight: Thats not bush,,, thats just grass

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sea-salted-wolverine:

starcrossed-sky:

geiser:

no lie i genuinely believe brands are so behind the pleather movement bc they can just buy cheap plastic sell it as expensive ‘vegan leather’ and be ready for you to return in a couple years to buy another 'vegan peeta approved™ leather jacket’ bc they last like 5 minutes compared to the way leather lasts decades all the while you can pat yourself and coorporate’s back for being sutainable all the while pvc (what some fake leather products are made of) has been labeled the single most environmentally damaging type of plastic and while there are non pvc fake leathers such as pu leather… its not like thats much better producing plastic pollutes and the second your pleather clothes start to breakdown (which happens much faster than you think) theyll wound up on landfills for at least a 100 years…

also they love love LOVE to try and sell you “plant-based leather” that you then look at the details and it’s “45% cactus” or whatever and there’s no mention of what the rest of it is

it’s plastic.

it’s always plastic.

"blood orange - shut up it's fucking red" meme but the text is switched to "vegan leather? shut up it's fucking plastic"ALT

Let me tell you a story.

50 years ago or so a cow died. It died in a slaughterhouse after a life on a cattle ranch. It was butchered in a meat packing plant, and it’s body was sent off to a grocery store where it then became an overdone steak or a dry hamburger or maybe dog food. It was the 70s and people had only recently realized that you could put food in things that were not jello. Cut them some slack.

But its skin went to a tannery. And that skin was processed in the hide and then leather. That leather was bought by a clothing company who made jackets out of it, long leather dusters for working men and ranchhands. Cowboy shit.

The dead cow that is now a leather jacket is not technically waterproof because if you stand out in the rain for 6 hours water will eventually work its way through the seams at the shoulders. But its pretty damn waterproof. It keeps off the rain and the snow and the dust and the mud and the brambles and it doesn’t melt if it catches a spark. So 50 years ago a man bought one and he wore it pretty much until he died and his wife shoved it in a closet. Decades of use, from the deserts in the southwest to the arctic, because it turns out that cowboys are wildly adaptable.

Anyway, I pulled grandad’s jacket out of the closet a while back and there is nothing wrong with that coat. It does have some distinctly non-modern vibes, but more importantly it is cool as hell and looks almost new. I have seen faux distressed leather that looks worse.

The cow is still dead. There will be another cow that dies tomorrow for the same reason. But there’s no market for leather these days. Its skin won’t be a garment that lasts 50 years. Its gonna rot in a pile with all the others. Someone will sell a “vintage” cowboycore Americana aesthetic dark academia plastic peice of shit that will be garbage in a year. And then they’ll sell another one.

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fried-berries:

romcommunist:

the name “theresa” is so funny like. theres a what

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